Friday, 6/1/01

I don't know whether to remove the pictures of Joanne from this website. On one hand... she was one of the most significant parts of my life for over five years. That's longer than any school I've attended or any location I've lived recently. It's a big chunk of lifetime. Throughout my life, I've normally only had one close friend at a time, and she held that title longer than anyone else. It seems strange that I should have to pretend like she never existed. On the other hand... although I know little and care less about societal convention, it does seem somewhat strange to adorn one's website with pictures of one's "ex", especially when the two parties do not even expect to ever communicate again. And it might make "moving on" somewhat awkward, if I were interested in such a thing. So... I dunno. I really don't want to remove the pictures, but they seem... wrong, somehow. I'm at my parents' house right now. My mom just asked me a few hours ago whether she should take down the photographs of Joanne in the house. I answered honestly that I didn't care one way or the other. It's not my house. No, it's not weird that my parents would have pictures of Joanne up. My parents thought that we would be getting married. Her parents thought we would be getting married. All our friends thought we would be getting married. Hell, even we thought we would be getting married. Funny, that. Don't tell me I should be "over" this by now. I've been postponing dealing with this for the past few months. I'm just getting started. Anyway, anyway, anyway. Tomorrow, I fly to Seattle to visit Andy for a few days. Being with Andy is one of the very few things in life that I genuinely enjoy doing... So, it should be good. I need some good.