Hey, frosh! Were you a dateless nerd in high school, but think that you're ready to find true love now that you're at the social mecca that is Caltech? Well, before you start busting out the moves, educate yourselves on the advantages and disadvantages of looking for love at this fine institute:

Disadvantages

1. The ratio.
2. You don't ask if they are good looking. You ask if they are emotionally stable.
3. Here, "doing it all night" usually refers to a problem set.
4. After a hellish term is over and you have free time again, you find that you can vaguely remember something called "having fun" but aren't sure how it's done anymore.
5. It's hard enough to deal with your own stress, let alone someone else's.
6. Going several days without sleep does not make anyone more attractive.
7. If you don't have a car, about the only place to take a date is Barnes and Noble's.
8. You can sit with your date under the night sky and look up at "the star", if there happens to be one out tonight.
9. You can no longer impress anyone by being at the top of your class. Hell, half of you won't even be above average!

Advantages

1. Free condoms.