Friday, 2/2/01

Maybe I should be a fanboy. An otaku. An rpgamer.

Yep, against my better judgement, more artist sites tonight. Plus, Aaron steered me to Megatokyo. For some reason, I really think I could get into the whole anime-manga-rpg-pretend-i'm-japanese kind of culture... With two provisions. I would need friends who were also into it, and I would need to overcome the feeling that I was wasting my life away. The first problem supposedly can be overcome with this "meeting people" thing that I keep hearing about... but I dunno. That's tough. And if that's not insurmountable, surely the second point is. My god, I'm 23 years old. I'm almost dead.

Well, maybe not dead, but close to the age where I can no longer respectably be a fanboy/gamer. I mean, it's endearing up to a certain age, and past that it's pathetic. At some point, according to the current societal model, I must act responsible and mature, and limit my creativity to predefined channels. Kids play games while parents tell them to come to dinner. Most 'zines are not made by people > 30, and those that are are seen as a sad attempt to recapture lost youth.

Perhaps that's all the more reason to be a fanboy now, while it's still acceptable. What else am I doing now that I can't do in ten years? Drinking binges, all-night raves, casual sex? If I'm going to adopt an activity to convince myself that I'm not wasting my youth, I'd rather it be gaming than one of those things...

What am I doing now that I can't do in ten years. How depressing. :) Am I thirty and I don't even know it yet?

If I leave school and get a job, maybe I will be as good as thirty. Maybe I'll be as good as dead. Or maybe there's more to life than I realize.