Okay, so it was my first time in a chat room, and I might have gotten a little carried away. It was still probably fun for all concerned...
(3:33)*** Farmer Bob has joined.
trisha val: oh...nothing at all gizzie..
Farmer Bob: Hi, I'm Farmer Bob! I like to farm! And have sex!
Randy*: glad to know that, bob...
Farmer Bob: I have the male sex myself. What ya'll have?
NENA99: trisha val....where are you from?
Farmer Bob: I used to think there was only two kinds, but then Sally was born.
Randy*: hey, sens...
Sensual_M: hiya R
trisha val: well ....well....Sensual_M...
Farmer Bob: Sally was our mule. Sally had a rod, but no tackle, if you know what I mean.
trisha val: merry xmas to you Sens
Farmer Bob: So we called her Sally.
Farmer Bob: Can't be a man without tackle, you know.
Sensual_M: Trisha..(walks over.takes hand.bows.kisses hand gently.)
Farmer Bob: That's why football is so popular!
trisha val: sorry NENA....I am from England....but now I lived in Singapore with my husband
Sensual_M: sorry randy.couldnt control myself
Farmer Bob: Speaking of tackle, ya'll like fishing?
Randy*: Bob...me thinks you are a lonely person...no one to talk to around the farm....
Farmer Bob: I used to fish in Singapore, back during the war.
trisha val: (---- what Randy said
Farmer Bob: Then they shot my wife, and I had ta leave.
NENA99: trisha val.....ever been to Seattle???
Farmer Bob: I am lonely ever since Bessie got rabies.
gizzie: that is high bob
Farmer Bob: I'll miss that cow.
trisha val: I was from Morley Sens....
Farmer Bob: She used to sing me to sleep every night!
Farmer Bob: So, ya'll like bowling?
Randy*: Bob....is there something you want to tell us??
gizzie: how much trisha lol
Farmer Bob: Heck no, Randy! I'm here to chat!
trisha val: what is Farmer Bob talking about...
Farmer Bob: Ya'll wanna chat about tractors?
trisha val: gizzie....asked Randy...
Sensual_M: We had our office party in Morley................
Randy*: and doing quite well, bob...
trisha val: that is nice Sens...
Farmer Bob: I knew a feller named Morley once.
Farmer Bob: Got rabies after being bitten by Bessie. Had to put him to sleep.
Randy*: I have to admit...he is making me laugh...
trisha val: who baby??..Farmer Bob??
Farmer Bob: Funny thing was, Bessie didn't even have any teeth left then.
Farmer Bob: Poor Morley sorta got gummed to death. Sad sight.
trisha val: interesting bloke...
trisha val: what a shame Farmer..
Farmer Bob: I once bloke my kneecap once.
Farmer Bob: Had to amputate the leg.
trisha val: which leg Farmer...
Randy*: sorry to hear that, bob...
Farmer Bob: Had to ampulate the other once after Bessie had dinner one night.
trisha val: wait...who is Bessie again???
Randy*: the cow...
Sensual_M: get around much Farmer Bob????????hahahahaha
Farmer Bob: Bessie's my trusty ol' cow!
trisha val: oh...okay...
Farmer Bob: Oh, I been around the block once or twice.
Sensual_M: FB have u lost it.?
Farmer Bob: On my tractor.
trisha val: and you got your leg amputate...how sad
trisha val: got your leg amputated on your tractor???
Randy*: the cow had to have dinner, honey...
Farmer Bob: Then my stumps got gangrene and they had to amputate my torso.
Sensual_M: best birthday treat so far
trisha val: LOL.....i am trying to make sense of what Farmer is saying darling....
Randy*: where are you, sens??
Farmer Bob: I'm not much but a head and a pair of arms right now.
Randy*: dont try, baby...
trisha val: torso too.....so you dont have a .....wellll....
Farmer Bob: Makes it had to pull the tractor, but my wife don't seem to mind.
Farmer Bob: Though sometimes she mistakes me for a scarecrow.
trisha val: a scarecrow with no torso....
Farmer Bob: Ya'll like stuffin' straw down yer shirts?
*** ~nan~BRB is now known as ~nan~
Sensual_M: what abt u randy....
trisha val: it gets very itchy Farmer...
Randy*: nan...be careful...
Farmer Bob: If I only had a brain...
Farmer Bob: Itchy!
gizzie: hi nan
trisha val: wb nan...hugs
Farmer Bob: Don't talk to me about itchy!
Randy*: I sell toys for a living, sens....
~nan~: lol Why Randy
Randy*: wb, naner...
Farmer Bob: EVERYTHING gets me itchy nowadays!
Farmer Bob: Lice, nutrisweet, novicane, you name it!
trisha val: now how about that Farmer....itchy Farmer Bob
Randy*: farmer bob....(think he forgot his medicine this morning...)
~nan~: and around all that hay
gizzie: nan where from
trisha val: LOL@Randy
Randy*: yeah, sens...do ok....
Farmer Bob: That god durn medicine makes me itch.
Farmer Bob: Ya'll like computers?
trisha val: supposed to take it or put it on Farmer...the medicine I mean...
Randy*: you guys excuse me for a sec...need to make some coffee....
Farmer Bob: My nephew got me this computer for christmas!
trisha val: okay baby...
Rich1: I'm about to send this machine into long island sound!!!!!!
Sensual_M: 2 sugars randy
trisha val: now isnt that nice Farmer...
Randy*: will do, sens...lol
trisha val: LOL...Rich...poor man
~nan~: Oh ..... Rich it will get better
Farmer Bob: He said it would be even better than my typewriter, but I couldn't find where to put the ribbon in.
Rich1: can't get worse!!!!!!
trisha val: LMAO@Farmer BOB
Sensual_M: you're surreal Farmer.......
gizzie: your from new york farmer
trisha val: the man is cuckoo but damn it he is one funny bloke!!!
Sensual_M: second that
Farmer Bob: Woulda been nice to have electricity round these parts though.
trisha val: LOLOLOL....
Sensual_M: what parts
Farmer Bob: I gotta hand-crank this generater all the time just to stay on-line!
trisha val: just how do you operate your computer farmer??.....by generators???
Sensual_M: is that why youre [panting
trisha val: must be hard to hand-crank and type Farmer
Farmer Bob: I'm from Castro Valley, California!
Sensual_M: I gotta go.keep crying on keyboard.brb
trisha val: bye Sens
Farmer Bob: Well, with only two arms and not much else, I get used to hand-cranking, if you know what I mean!
~nan~: is that central Cal...Farmer
Sensual_M: cu later..please........
~nan~: Bye Sensual
Rich1: hello again Nan...:)
gizzie: how can you throw anything into the long island sound from there
Sensual_M: bye nan
~nan~: Hello again Rich WB
Rich1: from where...? I'm right on Long Island Sound
Farmer Bob: Bay area. 'round oakland.
trisha val: still laughing here....
Farmer Bob: Ya'll like bowling?
~nan~: Oh....how did your cow get rabies???
Farmer Bob: Round here we play bowling with cows.
Farmer Bob: It's like cow-tipping except with ten of 'em.
trisha val: bowling with cows????
trisha val: LMAO!!!!
Farmer Bob: And a big spherical piece of cow dung.
Rich1: udder nonsense!!!!
Farmer Bob: Yee haw!
~nan~: LOL Rich
Farmer Bob: Oh don't get me started on udders!
Farmer Bob: They make me itch.
trisha val: LOLOL....nan..help me out here!!
trisha val: yepper....thought you say everything make you itch Farmer
gizzie: whats wrong trisha
Farmer Bob: My cow got rabies by playing with my wife.
~nan~: can't trish....the roosters are crowing around here
Farmer Bob: Finally had to put her to sleep.
trisha val: cant breath...laughing to hard...
~nan~: oh shit
trisha val: nan!!!...dont YOU make me start too!!
Randy*: now what is this loon saying??
Farmer Bob: But not before one last roll in the hay.
gizzie: the cow or the wife farmer
Farmer Bob: That's why they took off my legs.
trisha val: he's playing bowling with his cows darling...
Farmer Bob: But it was worth it.
~nan~: the farmers wife
Randy*: cow bowling??
trisha val: yes darling....dont even ask...
Randy*: with a tractor??
trisha val: LMAO
Farmer Bob: Ya'll like metamucil?
Rich1: nice ass, Nan
trisha val: what's a metamucil...
Farmer Bob: Only thing that gets me up in the mornings nowadays.
Randy*: makes you shit, honey...
trisha val: oh...
gizzie: i noticed nan's ass too
Farmer Bob: I got an ass!
Farmer Bob: His names Fred!
~nan~: oh thanks Rich.....looks at rear end....Yeah I thinks so
Farmer Bob: Darn good mule.
trisha val: but you dont have a torso Farmer
Randy*: lol, naner...
Farmer Bob: Had to put him to sleep though. Rollin' in the hay with Bessie too much.
~nan~: must be feeling better
Farmer Bob: Plus, he made me itch.
trisha val: who??....the mule??
~nan~: need to take more of that stuff...
trisha val: baby....help!!
Rich1: what.. metamucil???
trisha val: LMAO.....
~nan~: LOL Rich
Randy*: Farmer Bob...a.k.a.....Rodney Dangerfield...
gizzie: whats wrong nan
~nan~: had a headache
trisha val: pray tell me who is Rodney d??
Randy*: will come back if you stick around here....
~nan~: oh trish
gizzie: thats all nan that is not bad
Randy*: a comedian, honey...
trisha val: oh nan...
trisha val: oh...okay babycakes..
trisha val: you stop that lmao woman!!!
~nan~: pooor Rich
Farmer Bob: Ya'll hang on, my dad-gurn ISP's actin' up.
trisha val: LMAO!!!
Randy*: bob is taking a breather...thank god...
Randy*: rich went poof again, huh..too bad...hehehehehe
trisha val: well..I cant breath....laughing too hard
gizzie: so much for animal jokes
trisha val: babycakes....be nice
Farmer Bob: Baby cakes! We once made baby cakes with little Jimmy!
trisha val: becoz its Christman darling....
Randy*: is Christmas...I get to be what i want to be...
Farmer Bob: Yummy!
trisha val: oh no!!!....he's alive!!
Randy*: you tell me...
Farmer Bob: So, why's this channel called "About Sex"?
Farmer Bob: What there to talk about?
Randy*: afternoons are when you meet new friends, remember??
Farmer Bob: I don't know nuthin about "about sex".
~nan~: I really like the mornings Randy
Farmer Bob: You either get it or you don't.
~nan~: neither do we Farmer
Randy*: me too, naner...
Farmer Bob: At least that's what momma taught me, with them birds and bees and critters.
trisha val: nope..me three
gizzie: we are not getting it now
trisha val: your momma taught you how to do it with the critters??
~nan~: Hey Sue
~nan~: LOL trisha
Randy*: hey, susie....
Farmer Bob: My momma showed my by example!
gizzie: be nice trisha
trisha val: hehehe...nan
Farmer Bob: She was a decent woman, rest her soul.
Farmer Bob: Had to put her to sleep too. Made me itch.
trisha val: gizzie....i am nice...
Randy*: lol, bob...
Farmer Bob: Had to send her to the big pigpen in the sky.
trisha val: LMAO!!!!!!
Randy*: the man types like the wind....
Farmer Bob: Wind!
Randy*: must be doing 60 wpm....
trisha val: and he hand crank the computer too...imagine that
gizzie: i know wher your going with the farmer jokes trisha
Farmer Bob: Don't get me started on passing wind!
Farmer Bob: Darn metamucil!
trisha val: dont start on the wind Farmer...have pity on us here!
Randy*: must have missed that...
Farmer Bob: Wake up darn tootin some mornings!
trisha val: gizzie...i dont know meself...
trisha val: LMAO
Farmer Bob: That's how our rooster Phil died.
trisha val: nan!!!....stop laughing!!...LOLOL
~nan~: I'm going to wake everybody up....stop
Farmer Bob: Gas poisoning. Just like them canaries in coal mines.
trisha val: my husband will think i'm a loony!!
gizzie: farmer makes it easy to come up with jokes
trisha val: LMFAO!!!!!!!!
~nan~: so will mine Trisha
Farmer Bob: Ya'll like husbands?
gizzie: are n't you loony
Farmer Bob: Never tried it myself, but I heard it's not a bad way to live.
trisha val: they are okay for sex...I think
Farmer Bob: Ya'll like sky-divin?
trisha val: nan...LOLOL
~nan~: not if your married
Randy*: and for credit cards...dont forget...
gizzie: we love you too trisha
trisha val: awww....gizzie....be nice
Farmer Bob: Yeah, never let them married men sky-dive.
~nan~: oh yeah ....the credit cards
gizzie: lol trisha
trisha val: lovers are good for credit cards too....
Farmer Bob: Don't know how to pull their rip cords anymore, if you know what I mean.
Randy*: uh huh....
trisha val: LMAO....you crack me up Farmer!!!
Farmer Bob: Ya'll like undersea bass fishin'?
Farmer Bob: Caught a viola once, but never a bass.
trisha val: never tried that one before Farmer
Farmer Bob: A little bit too stringy for my taste.
Farmer Bob: I like the wood winds myself.
trisha val: LMAO........
Farmer Bob: I just go in the woods, and WHEW let that wind go!!
trisha val: oh my....
Farmer Bob: Darn metamucil.
Farmer Bob: But ya'll already know about my wind.
trisha val: LOL...yes we do Farmer....
~nan~: Hey Horny
Farmer Bob: Horns!
Randy*: What is amazing me is that his fingers are going as fast as his mind....
horny guy: hey there
Farmer Bob: Don't get me started on horns!
~nan~: LOL Randy
Randy*: I wish I had the dexterity...
trisha val: uh huh darling.....
gizzie: please spar us
trisha val: oh you do my love....
Farmer Bob: I had a deer once with great big horns.
Randy*: lol, baby...
trisha val: you mean spare...I hope gizzie
Farmer Bob: Wait, them was antlers.
gizzie: yes trisha
Farmer Bob: Never mind, made me itch anyhow, had to put him to sleep.
Randy*: how was that deer, bob?
Farmer Bob: Smarted like a mother.
Randy*: you said you had him?
trisha val: Farmer..you have this habit of putting everything to sleep!!
Farmer Bob: It was more deer to me that you could imagine.
Randy*: bet so...lol
Farmer Bob: Killed me a unicorn once.
trisha val: got to tell you...life with Farmer can never be dull....
Randy*: never tried a deer...tried a goat, once...naaaaaahhhhhh
Farmer Bob: Was out huntin', thought it was a squirrel.
trisha val: LMAO...Randy....
Farmer Bob: Tasted a lot like horse.
trisha val: thought if was chickens darling???
Randy*: just kidding...get it?? kid...ing...??
Farmer Bob: Except for the horn.
trisha val: oh good grief....
Farmer Bob: Chickens make me itch.
trisha val: chatting cam24
Farmer Bob: Ya'll like peanuts?
trisha val: the feathers you mean ...Farmer
~nan~: chicken make anything itch
Farmer Bob: I like the one that says "good grief" all the time.
trisha val: I am amazed at how he can changed subject...just like that *snapping fingers*
Randy*: no, bob...thats a comic strip...
trisha val: LOL@nan
Farmer Bob: Lucy's also a favorite of mine.
Randy*: true, baby...
trisha val: we are talking about comic strip now???
Farmer Bob: We had a pig named Lucy, but we had to put her to sleep.
Farmer Bob: Now she's in the sky. With diamonds.
Randy*: I like the kid that carries the blanket around...sinus??
gizzie: it look like it trisha
Farmer Bob: (Y'know, never throw pearls before swine)
Farmer Bob: But diamonds are okay by me.
Farmer Bob: Sinus!
trisha val: there you have it folks....Farmer Bob words of wisdom
Randy*: have heard that, bob...never knew what it meant...still dont!
Farmer Bob: Don't get me started on sinus!
Farmer Bob: Sometimes I wake up in the mornings and I can't breath a bit!
Randy*: I need to do something other than this...
Randy*: starting to get Nan's headache...
Farmer Bob: Gotta hammer on my iron lung for five minutes before it starts working again!
gizzie: is any one awake at farmer house
~nan~: LOL Randy
trisha val: hand crank your lungs??
Farmer Bob: Darn iron lung makes me itch.
trisha val: the question is gizzie...is there anything still alive at the Farmer's place
Farmer Bob: My iron lung works off them fancy hydro-electric power.
gizzie: what dosen't make you itck farmer
Randy*: Bob....is there a kinder, gentler side of you?? one that doesn't talk all the time??
Farmer Bob: I live near a river, ya see?
Farmer Bob: Talk!
trisha val: how interesting...
Farmer Bob: Don't get me started on talking!
Randy*: oh man!!!
gizzie: i don't think so trisha
trisha val: LMAO!!!!
Farmer Bob: You never met my horse named Ed!
Randy*: the talking horse, right??
trisha val: wait!!!....Bessie is the cow...the mule got no name...and now Ed is the horse...
Farmer Bob: Had to put him to sleep though,
Farmer Bob: kept the neighbors up.
gizzie: of corse
Randy*: not to mention the itch....
Farmer Bob: But he gave me the best manure I ever had!
trisha val: there you are nan!!
Farmer Bob: Even better than cow dung for cow bowling!
gizzie: hi nan
trisha val: thought you had passed out or something
~nan~: Hi gizzie
gizzie: whays up nan
~nan~: just watching
Farmer Bob: Ya'll like dinosaurs?
trisha val: LOL..darling...its Xmas eve...
Farmer Bob: I got me a dino on this here farm.
trisha val: you are a paleontologist too Farmer????
Randy*: nan...you ok??
~nan~: yes Randy
Randy*: nice word, trisha......45 pts...
Farmer Bob: It got sharp claws!
Farmer Bob: And little pointy ears!
trisha val: thank you darling....
trisha val: is it a T-rex???
Farmer Bob: And fur everywhere, and it purrs all the time and likes saucers of milk.
~nan~: oh yeah....
Farmer Bob: Yeah, I think it might be a t-rex.
trisha val: dinosours dont have furs....I think
Farmer Bob: It likes to sleep a lot.
Randy*: can i watch??
trisha val: eh???
Farmer Bob: I reckon so, but I usually change in private...
~nan~: sure ya come on in
Farmer Bob: But I don't have much to change nowadays.
Farmer Bob: A clean shirt will get me through the week, and that's about all I need!
~nan~: Hi Fred
Randy*: uh huh....rolling....
Farmer Bob: Life's been easier since I lost my torso and don't have to worry about undies and them stuff.
mr. pimp: any wemon want to chat?
gizzie: i would like to see that too
Randy*: ok, bob...take a breather....
Farmer Bob: Pimps!
Farmer Bob: Don't get me started on pimps!
Farmer Bob: I had a whitehead once that I squeezed and squeezed...
Randy*: BOB!!! Settle.....
Farmer Bob: and then BAM, it was like a rocket from a 747!
Randy*: oh man....eeeeccchhh....
Farmer Bob: I no longer had that not-so-fresh feeling.
mr. pimp: your funny bob!!!!