I like... big... ducks and I cannot lie!
You other mallards can't deny
That when a hen waddles in with some feathers down her back
And a beak that's wide and flat
You go QUACK!
Wanna flap your wings
For that nice fat fish she brings!

Deep in the sea she's diving.
Oxygen depriving.
Oh, duckie, I wanna join formation
During your migration.
My drakes all tried to jack me,
Cuz that tail you got makes ME SO QUACKY.
Ooh, downy plumage,
You say you wanna lay my eggs?
Try some sultry adultery, cuz you're not the average poultry!

I've seen her glances.
To hell with mating dances.
Wet. Pet. Catchin' fish like a nylon net!

I'm tired of birding guides
Saying flat bills are too wide.
Take the average drake and what's his wish?
She gotta catch much fish!

So mallards (quack), mallards (quack),
Does your female catch the bugs? (Quack quack!)
Well mate it (mate it), mate it (mate it), mate that healthy duck.

Duckie go quack!

(Mallard bill with the goosey plumage.)

Duckie... go... quack.