if i were a picture painter, there's a picture i would paint
(too bad a picture painter is a person that i ain't)
i'd take my tears and mix them well and put them on the page
instead of long and lonely nights of jealousy and rage

if i were a story writer, there's a story i would write
about a four year toothpick tower being toppled in one night
and how a week of worrying didn't make it strong
(but i'm not a story writer so my writing would be wrong)

if i were a real lover, there's a girl that i would love
our love would live forever, she would never have enough
her infinity plus one would never dwindle down to nothing
(i guess i'm not a lover and i'm better off not loving)

if i were a picture painter, there's a picture i would share
i'd fill you full of pity and draw you to my lair
i wouldn't let you leave me, i'd hold you close and tight
until another toothpick tower collapses in the night.