Horoscope -- still more UselessWare from Slixter

To install Horoscope, copy the Horoscope INIT into your */System/System.Setup folder. Then, decide what flavor of horoscope you want. "Horoscope.dataA" generates horoscopes that are somewhat "realistic". "Horoscope.dataB" makes horoscopes that are funny/stupid. Copy the appropriate file into your */System/System.Setup folder AND RENAME IT "Horoscope.data" (that is, remove the A or B at the end of the name). The INIT looks for a file named "Horoscope.data".

Now, the first time you enter the Finder after booting up your computer, you will get a horoscope. Study it carefully, and pattern your life after its profound wisdom.

You can easily make your own horoscope data files, if you want. They are simple ASCII text files -- open up one of them in a text editor to see how it works. (You might want to wait a few days, so you don't spoil the suprise.) The format is pretty self-explanitory, but some notes just in case: The template part must end with a backslash ("\") and return. The number of items in the first set must follow -immediately- after that. (Horoscope is rather unforgiving when it comes to extra blank lines.) Your numbers can't be any more than two digits, and there must be one and only one blank line between each "set". (To make "blank" entries, use a space. Look at the last set in Horoscope.dataA to see how that is done.)

All I ask is that if you come up with a horoscope data file that you think is pretty good, upload it to GEnie so everyone can enjoy it!

As always, my rating for this UselessWare product:

No redeeming value | - -<*>- - + - - + - - + - - + - - | Utterly idiotic

(For those of you who follow my work with fanatical devotion, you may remember that last time, I promised that my next UselessWare product would hit the top of the scale... Well, it -did-... and it was so bad, in fact, that I decided not to release it. The world is better off this way.)

Talk to me! Please! Send mail to:

GEnie : B.VICTOR1 Internet: b.victor1@genie.com

(c) 1995 Bret Victor and his feet which are finally on the ground (Space Dog)

Be sure to check out these other fine UselessWare releases:

ShadyBar Bender Boinger GravityMouse GS

(And heeeeeere we go again...) Did you like Horoscope? Well, then you'll be crazy about Opening Line! Did you -not- like Horoscope? Well, you'll -still- like Opening Line! Heck, Opening Line has something for everyone! So for the LOVE of GOD, BUY IT!! Check out the press release on GEnie (file #25345) or send me e-mail! (!!!)

And now is the part in this text file where I shall once again wax philosophical about UselessWare's brief history... You may be wondering, "How does Slix have the time to churn out this stuff? Shouldn't he be picking up litter with a roadside crew or making license plates or otherwise productively contributing toward the good of America?" Well, here's the skinny -- one, all my friends have already left for college, so I really have nothing else to do. And two, I'll be leaving for college myself in... um... less than a week now... and so this is sorta like my farewell gift to A2 and the Apple IIgs community... Accept my gift like a Christmas fruitcake -- you may not want it, but smile anyway. ... I figure that if there is just even -one- person out there that smiles when a horoscope comes up, or laughs when the apple boings... then I will have actually done something worthwhile. Really, that's all that matters to me... and the thought of that is what keeps my UselessWare from being useless in my eyes. If I can't make someone else happy, than why the hell should I bother living?

(Yes, UselessWare does come with a philosophy behind it... feel free to ignore that previous paragraph completely if you're not that type of person... :)

I'm sure nobody did, but in case you noticed a delay between this and my last UselessWare product, it was because I wrote a program for Softdisk G-S... Real money... hmm, strange concept....

The ideas and opinions expressed in this file are those of the author, Bret Victor. If you don't like them, well, I'll change them for you! I'll believe and say anything you tell me to! Really! I have no convictions or principles, and I'll be a sheep to anybody!

Alert windows rock! Did you know that the size and icon in the window are controlled by a number at the beginning of the alert string? That is so cool! (Can you tell I don't have TBR 3 yet?) IIgs programming is a lot of fun, even if I don't know what I'm doing most of the time... actually, that's probably what makes it so fun... If it's all layed out for ya in a book, then why bother?

Hmmm... I wonder if this text file will actually end up being longer than the INIT itself... Prob'ly.